Late May 2010 / Art (Boyfriend)
Well it was really warm day out today; it passed 90 degrees and broke the record for this day in May. So it has begun: another warm season coming upon us again. Another reminder of the "cycles of life" that come and go in and out of our lives. Unfortunately for me it's the one that reminds me of you and us the most. I'd often see you walk in on days like this declaring: "it's really beautiful out" with an enthused smile and tell me that we needed to get out and enjoy it.
I stayed inside mostly, didn't want to get out for too long. I took a walk to get some lunch and thought what a load of crap this all really is and then went back in to shelter myself from the sun's heat and from myself to a certain degree. Didn't really help much. The anxiety I was feeling from this morning now had my hands trembling a bit.
Today wasn't as much about missing you hanging around with me as much as it was wondering how you are doing. Are you happy? Are you at peace? I worried so much about you this day and my faith was really tested. Faith that what we were told in religion class is true that after our time here we continue.
Summer is quickly approaching and your 5 year mark is as well. There has been some time now and though to some degree I've become accustomed to it I don't know why this 5 year thing irks me so. I keep telling myself that It is only a number that nothing has changed since your transition in so far as time goes (other than it keeps on going) but this 5 year thing is going to be very difficult for me.
I can only pray not only for you but for myself and others who may feel the same. I miss you terribly and today I felt it as much as I did that day.
dearly missed / Scott Scherquist (friend)
Our school had their winter showcase, and it made me think of you and all your help and guidance. Diana and I truly miss you. Sending you all the light and love we can, Scott and Diana Close
True Inspiration / Sheila Zabala (Friend)
Just a few moments ago, I decided to browse through my scrapbook that has been given to me for my 18th birthday, which has been filled, decorated and presented to me with so much love from people who I've been truly blessed to have known. I've been looking for some sort of a muse, any sort of motivation, that would help me get out of this life block that has seemed to have slowed me down. A period where I felt like I lost sight of what I wanted for the future, what I wanted to achieve.
My heart felt as if it began to clench tightly as I came across a page that Jenny has made for me, marked as "Words of Wisdom." It was passage from a Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
It was as if Jenny or God has led me to read this, because It was what I needed to know, and what I needed to feel at that very moment. My insecurities and my fears are exactly what was stated in that passage; inadequacy. insecurity.
The following pages showed just how much Jenny cared about my dreams, my goals. Even if they aren't the same as they were 2 years ago. It showed just the type of person Jenny was. It showed that Jenny was such an inspiration to myself, and to many other people. She was a believer, your number one fan.
Every moment that I was so blessed to have spent with Jenny, she made me feel that I was much more than I thought I was, and I was capable of extraordinary things. She has this unbelievable ability to make you smile and laugh with incredible ease. Jenny was one of the strongest people I've ever met & makes me want to become a better person.
I just want to thank her for everything. For blessing my family members and everyone else she has touched with her love, laughter, care, and support & of course, for myself as well.
Marianne Williamson was right, "We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us." Jenny is a great example of this.
Justus' cheese buddy and more / Lisa Zabala (friend)Read >>
Justus' cheese buddy and more / Lisa Zabala (friend)
What to say about Jenny? She was funny. She was sweet. She was a good friend. And how about her contagious laugh?
I met her through my sister, Jeannie, and then got to know her more and got closer to her as she came to visit my sister. While she waited for my sister to get ready, she would come up to my place and say "Entertain me!". I will always remember that mischievious smile she would put on as we gossiped a bit!
She was a good friend. I'd call her to ask her a question or advice. Not only would she answer, but would go out of her way to find out more to help me more.
But what really endeared her to me was how she loved my kids. She would come by and bring them little presents ( candy) - even for my then 1 year old! Once she brought him a ring pop - which I still have. She was my older son's "Cheese buddy". I remember her sitting in the car sharing a block of cheddar cheese with my son. Every now and then, when my son thinks of her, he'll tell me sadly that he no longer has a "cheese buddy".
When I think of Jenny, I will always remember the goofy things she did fondly ( like when she tried to place my infant son in a rocking chair by himself). We all love her and we miss her, but we know that one day we will see her up in heaven. Close
One of a Kind Person! / JoAnn Delio-Browne (Friend, who lost touch )
I meet Jenny in high school - the Astoria girls & Brooklyn girls got along very well. She was an incredible person! She was always there for her friends, beyond loyal, always made you smile and willing to do anything. We lost touch, not on purpose, just due to life and the paths taken. I'm so glad and proud of the woman she had become and that she followed her dreams and did the magic that only she could have done. I just found out yesterday of her passing and as I'm typing this, the tears can not stop. Even though I wish we had kept in touch, I'm so proud and beyond happy to have known her, have memories and when I think of her behind the tears will always be the smile that she brought to my face. Jenny Nacinovic - "You use to love to make me cry" ...... and, "Don't ever leave me, say you'll always be there, all I ever wanted was for you to know that I care".... My deepest condolences and love go to Jenny's family. Your daughter was loved throughout her lifetime, throughout all the people that had to pleasure to meet Jenny. You have always been in my thoughts & heart! Love you, JoAnn (BB) Close
Many days am in a state of limbo, not knowing where you are or how I can reach you. I saddens me so much. Life took such a twisted spin for all of us. I hope you are somewhere safe with the rest of our heavenly family, and I hope that one day soon we shall all be together again. I want to see you today. You were taken away from us much too soon, and at the prime of your life. Just when you had the time and freedom from completing your Masters Degree, you were taken from us, like a strike of lightning. Very unfair, after you worked so hard to accomplish all the goals you set for yourself. You were always tough on yourself. Nobody else expected of you, except you, and you did it. God loves you for that, and we are all proud of you. We all miss you here. We are all dealing with our emotions as best we can, but it is difficult, struggling each day to forget, but memories never leave, good or bad. We all try to help each other and remember the good. Just know that we miss you and love you. Please send us a sign, and tell us you are ok. All our love, ma, pa, Tommy, Arturo.
I dreamt of you this morning. You were amongst friends, smiling, laughing, but mostly quiet and pensive. Like a person who has seen much and gained wisdom, you were incredibly self assured, but mostly in the role of observer.
It seemed warm out, with an abundance of greenery. We were on a meadow, many people were there, whom I did not know, but somehow felt familiar with them.
I tried to get close to you, to get you to notice me, but you seemed a bit aloof. My attempts to gain your attention did not work. You weren’t oblivious of me, but not elated, as I had hoped you would be. I tried to rouse you as best as I could, by playfully annoying you and saying what I remembered would always provoke a response from you.
Finally you turned to me, you gave me an endearing look, then smiled, and with that the dream came to an end.
I was left with the feeling of urgency that I should call you, or stop by your home to see you. In my mind it had been awhile since we had spoken, and something was telling me that you were sad that I had not called on you.
I wanted to awaken as quickly as I could, content with the idea that I would get up, call you to tell you I loved you and to say that I was sorry that I had neglected you for some time.
As I awoke I was disheartened to find that you are no longer here, at least not in the way we are. I was saddened, disillusioned, yet strangely content that for 15 seconds of my conscious state, I was under the firm belief that you were home, closer than I had thought.
It has been sometime now Jenny, and I want you to know how much I miss you, how much I still love you. Most of us have made our “adjustments” to what has happened, yet we still have an empty place in our hearts, that will never be the same, not until we see you again.
I think about you every day, at times I miss you more than others. You have left me on an odyssey, a trek I wish I had had the courage to undertake while you were here. You have taught me to love the life we were given, to be there for those who matter, to help those who we can.
There are still those times I feel you next to me, and when they come, there is a stillness, a quietness and peace. There have been times I have told others that you are walking alongside of me.
Then there are moments I feel you very far away, and in those times I envision you helping, giving, loving others in ways our earthly minds cannot conceive at this point in time.
Please remember how I feel about you. Falling in love is something I imagine may happen for me again, for it is part of what life is I know, yet it will never be quite the same. It will be less. This does not sadden me, for it tells me that a piece of my heart will belong to you for all of eternity.
If there is one thing I know from everything that has happened (and every fiber of my being tells me so), is that I will see you again one day.
You are missed / Katrina Lykes (friend/Q.C. classmate )Read >>
You are missed / Katrina Lykes (friend/Q.C. classmate )
Jenny, Just the other day I was remembering hanging out with you in the atrium during lunch, discussing our future plans. I figured you where either going to star in a one-woman show off-Broadway or were going to be one kick-ass teacher. I am so sorry to hear that you were taken from us, but happy to see that you were able to touch so many lives, especially as a teacher. Your encouragement of my singing career meant a lot to me, especially to an 18 y.o. freshman. I will never forget your great, sassy attitude, your laughter or your fabulous rendition of "Take Me or Leave Me" at the student concert. Your voice and smile live on in the lives of your family, friends and students. God Bless you.
God Bless Jenny / Andrew D. (Friend of ART )Read >>
God Bless Jenny / Andrew D. (Friend of ART )
I didn't have the pleasure of meeting Jenny but am a friend of Art's and wish to offer my condolences and am very sorry for the loss of what sounds like a loving and careing woman God Bless Jenny Close
How do I put in a few words what Jenny meant to me in my life? Jenny, or my Yenni as I used to call her, was not only my best friend, but she was my sister, my mother, my advisor, my mentor, my therapist, my confidant...simply put she was my double L.
We met in Grad school at Hunter, and we got along immediately, but it wasn't until our first encounter with this shi-shi fru fru that we really hit it off. From then on we giggled a lot, and caused trouble, in and out of class. But then as Jen used to say "life comes into play" and we lost touch with one another.
Out of the blue a couple of years later, just when I needed someone the most, she calls me and tells me that she wants to reconnect with people. I knew then that God sent her to me. We were going through some similar situations at the time and we suppported each other through it. From then on, it was Jeannie and Jenny, Jenny and Jeannie, and we soon became known as double L's.
We spent a lot of our time shopping, planning for work, just bumming around. But I think most of our time was spent around cups of coffee (or moccachinos at Cafe Bar). She'd have 1 and I'd have four, and our conversation would last forever. From deep issues, to our next RNT, to our new signals for one another. We would just sit and "bullshit." She was always there when I needed her. But I miss her the most when I think about when she was there when I didn't really need her. I miss when we'd walk out in the street and she'd yell YP, or CO and only I (and a select few) knew what that meant. Or when we'd go to a store and she'd start talking to strangers about me as if I wasn't there. Or when she'd just suddenly stop what she was doing to ami. Sometimes, she'd hear a song she liked, start singing, and just wouldn't talk to you until it was done.
I miss her so much, and it's only now that I can allow myself to really think about it. It took me a long time to write this because everytime I would start, I just couldn't get myself to finish. I kept her at a distance because I couldn't bear the pain that the thoughts would give me. I felt like I had lost a part of me. But I feel her now. And I feel her telling me that everything will be ok, and that I can do this. She was always my number one fan.
Jenny was truly an amazing being. A friendship like ours is so rare. I was truly blessed to have had her in my life.
Perhaps Love........... When you are most alone, the memory of love will bring you home, and even if you lose yourself, and don't know what to do, the memory of love will see you through. If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true, my memories of love will be of you... ......love, your sister Silvana [copywright John Denver]
Sharing Thoughts! / Sonny (I never knew her. ) Death is a very sad thing, and matters little if I knew Jenny or not. I still feel compassion. I shall never get use to death....here one day, and gone the next.
The smile that wins, the tints that glow' but tell of days in goodness spent, A mind at peace with all below' A heart whose love was innocent.
Someone somewhere must be thinking. Say I'm weary, say I'm sad Say that health and wealth have miss'd me, say I'm growing old, but add, Jenny kiss'd me.Close
I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! / Jenny Figaro (Friend)Read >>
I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! / Jenny Figaro (Friend)
I miss you so much!!!!, I know you know that. Everytime I look around I find a card you sent me, emailes that I saved, and assingments we did together in school.
When the school year first started, at about 2:30 I use to look at my phone expecting you to call. I would tell you about the insanity at my job and you would tell me a joke and I would laugh and move on. The job is still crazy but I don't have you to make me laugh anymore. Your not being here hurts more than I can ever express in words.
I am glad that we became friends and I will treasure you in my heart always, remerbering all our good times, laughs, secret hand signs, and most importantly our "vision".
Rest in Peace ! One day I hope to see you again, in Heaven!!!
Sisters/ Silvana Werner (sister)
Sisters... More than friends, woven from the same fabric, each having a unique pattern. It is our common thread which weaves our lives, together by a bond, that will never be broken....Jenny & Silvana Close
My sweet cousin Jenny / Anna Maria Mikus (cousin)Read >>
My sweet cousin Jenny / Anna Maria Mikus (cousin) Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same....you've touched my heart in so many ways. I know you are in heaven with my mother....love, your cousin Anna MariaClose
Music Mayden / Tommy Werner (brother in law )Read >>
Music Mayden / Tommy Werner (brother in law )
I am still in shock at your passing, and can't quite understand any of it. Emotions in your family are strong, and pray that time may heal their pain. Your sister and I had so many plans for the future - - for all of us to grow old together as one big family, but our time was cut short. Much has changed now. Things are very different, and we will have to adjust. It will be difficult, but we feel you around us, guiding us step by step. We will listen and look for you. We will watch over your mama and papa.
I hope that Jenny inspires many, as she sits above and watches over us. A beautiful soul, gone too soon. Your courage and strength has been an inspiration to all your family and friends. May the sun shine on your face with that beautiful smile and the shadows fall behind.
May God bless you and take care of you. .............You will always be our "Music Mayden"..........Tommy Close